F**k

fuck,this is the only word i can think and to describe my feeling now..

still,whenever i feel unhappy i will visit the blogspot and write something..

because it will keep my feeling secretly and not to let someone i dont want to let knows.

fuck again,hate the feeling to be cheated,the feeling is fucking terrible and miserable!

i cant sleep last night as i think you will not be honest with me at that time.maybe is due to

i know you more than yourself.

to be cheated always make me sad and cry,i almost realize i am not a human anymore.crazy.fuck.

sorry for the word "fuck" is being written so many time.

to tian hua

LOL..hua,i just play play nia la..

as that time i was so bored and found nothing to write..

but these thing flow though my mind and then i just wrote it down lo..

haha..

i have grown up

i have grown up to another complicated way of thinking..

i started felt suspicious of what is on people's mind who is around me..

when they talked to me,i believed that they are not suppose to make friend with me..

unfortunately,in my mind,they are just going to take some benefits on me..

i had this way of thinking after i participated the amway business..

they taught amway distributor to be more positive and courteous but these thing

are only a fake infront of me..

i will never going this way to be so hypocritical..

but,instead,girls let me felt like so..

they are only a creature which is able to leech your blood but they are not going back

to you after they have finished leeching..

and they will be coming back to you after they hungry again..

it is a different with my kinkin!

all girls are wearing their mask!

i will tear down it all of you!haha..

desirous

the time was passing so fast for me...

i have not enough time to remember what has been happening..

and who has been leaving from my side..

in these few days,i suddenly has a thought to own a camera..

to help me seize every moment with my dear friend and every moment i would treasure..

but i can't afford a not excellent but good camera..

it costs me about RM900..is it worth the price?

i really need a camera as there is no much time for me to gather with my friends..

trying to cheer up myself

only song comprehend my feeling,there is nothing else is better than listening to song now..

a lyris of a song,it depends on how you are understanding,it could be any meaning when you

are with what mood..

and the other else for me to do is playing game..

it helps me to pay all my attention in the game,regardless of what has happened to me..

there is still one thing to do is make a blog to share your feeling with your friends who is far away

from you..

i received their concern although they are busy..it was toughing me..

thanks my friends,i will recover myself as soon as possible..

as i am always a boy with happiness in their mind..haha..

ya..i always do..looi..i will challenge you to find a girl friend in three month!watch out!haha..

sure,hui jie surely will not agree with what i have been saying..

but love doesnt always harmful..it depends on who is your couple..

sometimes it helps you to work hard in your academic..

it really works for me..hehe..here is some message for you guy..

my friends..miss you all..to we havent gathered for a long time..

the happiness with you all never dissappear although you guys are not here..

looi:grow your muscle successfully..find someone who really love you..take good care of you..human need concern from others whenever..no one will live better without concern

..no matter how strong your mind is..

hui jie:dont be too stressed,i hoped you do remembered what i have told you that "stressed" is a word which reversed from word "desserts"..sometimes relax yourself you will get more efficiency in either working or academic..

tze chi:幸福快乐,i think these words are really suitable in you..and you really need it..

wishes you will find it sooner..also find someone who really love you..

tiong:you seem like the one most happiest in friends who have gone to foreign country..

hope you will make a great achievement in your courses..as i could see you are work

very hard in it..if you get married,please inform me..i would like see who is the lucky one..haha..

cheng:nothing to say with you,but there is still something..maybe you really can join the taiwan

gossip programme as you are good gossip..

a letter i write with tear..

trying to cheer up myself

低调

张栋梁 - 低调

作词：管启源　 作曲：柯贵民

紫.ｓè制作 QQ：253057646

嬉笑 打闹 拥抱 留下了那么多开心合照

互相取暖依靠 熬过了最低潮

一起生活 也一起埋怨过 走过最好与最糟

我在心里想的不用说明 你知道

晨昏日夜颠倒 这房子突然没从前热闹

散落一地微笑 没有人去打扫

感情很微妙 再多付出也好 再多关心都徒劳

爱从来就没有固定的轨道

它最后停在哪里谁知道

我的难过是如此低调

因为不想打扰 我在寂寞的墙角

努力的对自己好 你用微笑回报

朋友或情人不重要

我的悲伤是如此低调

傻子才会哭闹 就算你发现也好

我想你一定会选择 假装不知道

只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

晨昏日夜颠倒 这房子突然没从前热闹

散落一地微笑 没有人去打扫

感情很微妙 再多付出也好 再多关心都徒劳

爱从来就没有固定的轨道

它最后停在哪里谁知道

我的难过是如此低调

因为不想打扰 我在寂寞的墙角

努力的对自己好 你用微笑回报

朋友或情人不重要

我的悲伤是如此低调

傻子才会哭闹 就算你发现也好

我想你一定会选择 假装不知道

只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

我的难过是如此低调

因为不想打扰 我在寂寞的墙角

努力的对自己好 你用微笑回报

朋友或情人不重要

我的悲伤是如此低调

傻子才会哭闹 就算你发现也好

我想你一定会选择 假装不知道

难到是我对我自己不够 好

紫.ｓè制作 QQ：253057646

have a nice day with chi

it was a raining day..

chi and i went to pragin mall together at about 2 pm..

she talked a lot on the way going to pragin..

all the thing..even though some flushing subject..

so i wasn't bored..

we have brought many shirt with reasonable price in the mall..

and there was a funny thing that i had ever heard..

that chi has forgotten to bring her purse..haha..that's absolutely hilarious..

i gave chi a giorano t-shirt as a belated birthday present..

and i have brought a singlet as this is the purpose i go to shopping..

i took a photo while chi was in dress,that's pretty nice and good looking..

in a cute dress..it fixed chi like that clothes have been made because of tze chi..haha..

am i making a mountain out of a molehill?but it was pretty..

you should buy it if you have chance..chi..

after all of these,i have spent up my money..

we were figuring out some ATM mesin to take some money for our dinner..

it didn't work when i was using the maybank ATM by BSN card..

that's let me down for awhile,as i don't want to leave chi so early..haha..it was true..

woo..after we have found BSN ATM,i took a deep breathe..or maybe i will get caught with no money to pay the duit kopi..it did't happen luckily..

we were having our dinner in an extraordinary restaurant that decorate with romantic,

comfortable light,superb settings,these thing unite a good view of the restaurant..

we were surprised there has a bigger room inside,many table and plant..

besides,you can have you dinner in higher stair as there consist of three stair..

we have our dinner at second stair..chi sat in front of me..i was hopefully that i was another guy..

sad..

the food there was palatable and excellent,i have had a prawn macoroni..

the prawn is bigger than others and the macoroni is mixed with green curry..

my god..the taste of curry have been existing in my teeth for long time..

the less was i got not enough money to open a red wine..haiz..otherwise a wonderful meal..

after the dinner,outside was raining,there was a old man staring at us,reminded us that

there was some umbrella able to use..i took one of them..then went to my car..

chi was waiting there..

when i reached chi there,the old man took a umbrella taking care of chi come inside my car..

totally,that is a good servise and excellent restaurant..

whoa..something to say here..why so hard to convince you that i like you?

when i heard you talked about another guy's good..my heart was painful..

i know that you couldn't share you heart with me right now as there was full and no place

to offer me..but remember that i will always appear whenever you need me ya..chi..

我爱的人

我知道 故事不会 太曲折

我总会 遇见一个 什么人

陪我过 没有了 她的人生

成家立业之类的 等等

她做了她 觉得对 的选择

我只好 祝福她 真的对了

爱不到我 最想要 爱的人

谁还能要我怎样呢

我爱的人 不是我的爱人

她心里每一寸 都属于另一个人

她真幸福 幸福得真残忍

让我又爱又恨 她的爱 怎么那么深

我爱的人 她已有了爱人

从他们的眼神 说明了我不可能

每当听见 她或他说 我们

就像听见爱情 永恒的嘲笑声

她做了她 觉得对 的选择

我只好 祝福她 真的对了

爱不到我 最想要 爱的人

谁还能要我怎样呢

我爱的人 不是我的爱人

她心里每一寸 都属于另一个人

她真幸福 幸福得真残忍

让我又爱又恨 她的爱 怎么那么深

我爱的人 她已有了爱人

从他们的眼神 说明了我不可能

每当听见 她或他说 我们

就像听见爱情 永恒的嘲笑声

每当听见 她或他说 我们

就像听见爱情 永恒的嘲笑声

The strange feeling that havent come for years ago

this feeling..strange but i had before..while im sixteen..it's supposed to be..

a feeling fell in love..or others else..

some feeling like you will be lonely whenever you are not with her..

some feeling like you cant without her..

she was the only one who will make you happy..

she was the only one who will always on your mind..

she was someone special in your life..

well,i'm going to KL soon..it's time to over that girl..

stand on your own feet!

my recently favourite song..

there are 12 hours left from the test's date..

nevertheless,i'm impervious,i find no tension in my mind.

as usual,i would like to talk about someone or some part of movie.

i felt i was fell in love with the guo cai jie,i cant stop watching her movie even if the test 

date is getting close.still,there is some problem about speaking but i think another part 

is prepared pretty good.

after i had listened to her music,i found that she was more suitable to sing in the sad way.

i was being touched by her song---i remember and 笨得可以.the former is an english song 

and the latter is a chinese song which is an interlude song in the 无敌珊宝妹.she has a good 

sound and fabulous face,futhermore,she is charming.

she remembered me about one friend in the singapore,hui jie.

the song,i remember,it has a ingenious background music,plus,with her dulcet sound,i would 

like to allege that is a wonderful mix.

笨的可以,i love this song as it was being started in the movie i will get more involved in the 

movie.

a cute artist

one artist i would really like to recommend that whose name is guo cai jie.

she has involved in a movie was titled 无敌珊宝妹 with nicholas zhang.

she was in a character whose father is a hawker and she wasn't appealing by many boy 

because of her flat breast,muscular arm and a cha xiou smell.her muscular arm and the smell 

was a result of helping in her father business.she had an aspiration to become an inimitable wife 

since her young age.she hate her job as an asistance of her father and she found a way to 

break down her father shop.she work with her brother,aunt and a worker to fighten the 

customers who are coming here for a meal with acting ghost.one night,there was someone 

brave coming here to determine the fact of the ghost story with a camera.they found out the 

ghost was phony.after guo cai jie came out,they believed that she must be the phony,too,they 

were not frightened by her.they were trying to examine if she was a ghost but they were touch 

her breast carelessly and found that she was a "flat breast ghost".hence,she has become the 

most popular point in the youtube and become the incentive of people to visit.

these is a part of the movie,this movie is actually a romantic movie.

on the other hand,she has two album of song named 隐性超人 and 爱异想.i think it would be 

a good album if you are not very demanded people.

continue of the movie

there are two days left..

last night,i had a dream.the dream was about i bought a honda accord.i was very confused that 

why it was an accord but not a civic=.=,i love civic more than accord.fine,maybe this will happen in 

my future life. 

after that,let's continue about the plot of the singapore movie.yue niang was suffering a hard life inthe family but she didn't give up.she bear in mind what her grandmother had told as not to against the family member even if herself was humiliated.for instance,the first mistress was trying to cut yue niang's hair as the servant told her yue niang was the one who beautiful than her and she was pretending carelessly to put some boiling oil on yue niang's hand so that she couldn't cook superb cuisine than her.yue niang couldn't endure of this kind of behaviour anymore,she was trying to get out of this detestable family.nonetheless,she was remembered of her grandmother was still inside the hospital,she couldn't just leave her alone.she was trying to apologize with the mistress so that they would give her the green light to stay at their house and continue to take care of her grandmother.they were offering her a condition that she must burn 

the grave tablet of her father and mother infront of them.of course,she was doing this with 

agonizing as she believed that there must exist their soul.she wouldn't do this if she didn't have 

to take care of her grandmother.fortunately,there was a kindly young mistress named yu zhu,

her personality compared with the first mistress was as different as chalk and cheese.she was 

giving yue niang some education about english and they had become an inseparable friend sooner.okay,if you are craving to know what's happened to yue niang please don't stay away from my blog.

a pityful lady

there are four days remain from the day i am taking examination.

well,i have not logged for two days,i was concentrating on my english lesson about listening and

speaking.i found it i couldn't fluently speak in english because i cant think the word i would like to talk about at the same time.i had no idea about it.how could i solve this problem to make myself

rapidly think about a word which is correspond with something in my mind.i'm not tend to giving out my own opinion as it was didn't matter during the secondary school life.but,the speaking test

was asking me to talk about my own opinion,it was difficult for me.

after the academic part,let's talk about some movie i had watched---the nyonya,movie from singapore.it was the following part,the nyonya has died in the war,too,with her husband who was trying to rescue her from the soldier hand.the nyonya's daughter who was named yue niang has suffered a hard life since she was 10 years old as she has lost her flesh and blood.she buried them

 by herself and went back to find her grandmother who stayed with the virulent woman's family.her grandmother had been teaching her how to make a delicious nyonya cuisine and ingenious needlework.inevitably,women's talent was to be jealous,the virulent and old woman

was always bringing her to book for something she didn't do so that she couldn't get the admiral of the men of the family.there are some time they were trying to uglify her face by paying people to do so.on the other hand,they fabricated story about her to tell another people who was coming to visit.

god bless me..

well,although i had ended off my preparation course,i couldn't even relax today.i suffered the stress

of the examination which is going on next week,i couldn't indulge myself to do anything doesn't 

mean to the examination.i went to my father workshop to have some listening practise with

the cassette which was given by the receptionist of bristish council.they were giving me two 

cassette,i didn't mean to go on too much,i had listened to one cassette and planned to carry on 

next time as i didn't want to become a clown sitting there still to only listen to the radio.

secondly,i got back and tried to keep the vocabulary in my mind.i fell asleep as i remembered the 

words with closing my eyes.after i had a two learning-english months,i still found myself weak in

english,for instance,i couldn't speak fluently in english.i was totally dissapointed.after these 

academic problem,let hang out some social problem.hypothetically,if our country didn't exist someone whose uniform was dark blue,would there have happened more criminal incident?

well,people acquired their helps most of the time,including me,to keep us away from receiving

a fine.for example,my father was getting a "fine" from them which demanded 5000 duit.cheerily,he was not expecting to be accountable for employing foreign worker.they decreased the criminal incident,didn't they?i would be glad because i was born in this country.god bless me.

recommendation of a singapore movie..

from this morning,i was continually enchancing my english level.it was a boring day.

i woke up at eleven o'clock,it didn't mean so late for me as it was routine for me to wake up

at this time.we had missed the listening again as we were going there with a myvi.i was getting

bored with the classes because i found no beauty at there but these old men.

after i had come home,there was nothing to do except watching movie.i watched a singapore

movie recently,the actress was a singaporean,she played a graceful and superior nyonya who was even deaf and dumb in the

movie.she did it splendidly.she ran away from home and got married with a japanese as her father was pressing her to

married an insane people who has betrayed his country.afterward,she had gave birth to a girl

in a full-moon-night so they named her,yue niang.yue niang was shoot by the actress,too.

she was a very toughful since she still young.her father was died as he was trying to help her 

mother from the violent japan soldiers.on the other hand,her mother was died also when they 

had gone away from the japan soldiers.i would like to recommend it to everyone,it is really a

good worth seeing movie.

seventy article

seventh english blog..

actually,there was no something special happened today,i awake at eleven o'clock and check up

everything.i found that i didn't need to be so hurried as yong shen would fetch me later,he 

could drive in the faster speed.besides,there was something in my mind,i remembered that ai ling

had made a call trying to tell me something at last night but she didn't.i was craving to know what

happened which was hopefully not a gossip.after the phone reach hers,it was predictable she was

telling about my grandmother initially.she said that my aunt and uncle are beginning their migration and not bringing along my grandmother.meanwhile,they asked for someone who was

voluntary of taking care of my grandmother.also,she said that she was just giving me an inform that maybe grandmother will be stayed in my house abruptly.in addition,she told me that my 

father has got a legal document from the government which informed him to go on the court at some day due to he had not paid the tax of company.only for this,this incredible,severe affair,i

cant put myself in impassivity,i was appalled and paused for one second.how could he make a 

absolutely terrible mistake like this!i went panic and asked for further information to confirm 

if it was the truth.at this middle of the night,i saw my father sitting at the living room,there was frustution and affliction in his murky,lonely and rueful countenance although he was keeping

silent there.something in my mind was a sentence:why don't you just come upstairs for some

sleep?after the conversation,i went upstair.it was a sentence including all my anxiety.

my sixth english blog

sixth english blog..

today,was my first day going to IDP for a preparation course of IEIST. i was astounded by the

standard of the test through it was just a preparation.i only got the half of the answer,it was about

21/40.according to what the lecturer had said,i was  be able in getting a probably 5 or 5.5 markh.

it was not the result i expected.i told myself not to be afraid,from now on,decreasing the time of

going out and working harder on english.i knew,it was like a lamb starting run when the lion was behind.

that was regarding of listening part,the reading part was not expected as difficult as i thought.

we had not finished all of them but we did some competition of who could read the article with the fastest

speed.as a result,i got 300 word per minit,i could give myself a compliment that this speed was the fastest

speed i had ever tried.in addition,there had a very cold environment which could

sometimes shivered people.it was wrong decision that i didn't bring along my jacket,i was really irritated about it!

finally,we were going back at the 5 pm,i found it was funny that there was a lot of people queue up to go toilet.after got in the car,the engine was started,the belt was on,i thought of something

will really be worst if i had not done it,i had totally forgotten of driving my car to the car servise shop!

fifth english blog

fifth english blog..

however,i'm lazy to write a blog at this wee hours.but,i have to write after i think of the test.

as constantly,i went to fetch my grandmother and my family at the afternoon.it was spontaneous for 

me to take care of my grandmother even where should i get her back.i should have asked for 

a probably answer,not with probably,it should be a absolutely answer for where is she going to

stay as there someone would feel bad if i left my grandmother at their house.i was getting cheesed about all of my life.

when the clock was getting closer to six,i was cooking myself a porridge,while waiting it to be cooked i was watching comedy.after it was finally cooked,i kept the top of the rice pot opened,

meanwhile,looi had sent a message to invite me to the red box after 15 minit.it was amazing me,

how could i have my porridge in such 15 minit?well,i tried to eat some so that it was not wasted.

we got there about eight and thirty pm,we got a really very small room but there was something 

good that today was a member day so we got a twenty percent discount,lucky.yet,i couldn't

sing as well as before,i was very upset for singing so bad.

my fourth article of english

this is the fourth english blog..exactly..

today,everything as same as everyday.i awake at 10am,i went to check up my downloads

as usual.everything worked good.well,the following was check up my email,facebook and blog.

i was excited for nothing.i had remembered that looi was about to invite us going out at this morning,i 

was abruptly refreshed and the first reflected action of me was searching looi msn to confirm.

looi wasn't log in yet.i took a deep breath, calmed down and looked at the clock,it was 11 o'clock,

the time which looi usually will log on his msn.as my prediction,looi had log on,i clicked

on and discussed with him.his answer was the plan has been canceled because he had 

have to be responsible about his father' business as his family is going to new zealand.

unexpectedly,his grandparents had moved to his house and stayed with him.we couldn't 

have mahjong game anymore,ever.

after i back from gym, my father got back,too.as i was inside the kitchen making myself a cup

of coffee,i heard an innocent sound from a child clearly,she was asking her mother to come over while my

father was insisting her not to be so close with the televisyen.she have gone away from it soundlessly,bringing with her horlick sweets.when i heard her mother spoke to her with an

unproper english,i was frustrated as a child has been teaching in a wrong way since she was

so young,god bless u.

my third english blog

em..third article..

english is hard because of the tenses and the construction of the sentences.this is my problem.

i don't know whether it is the way people find hard to learn about english.

but,for me,absolutely it is.

honestly,i had set the english level of hui jie as my aim before i registered for IEIST.

but,it was a very stupid thing that i have done.it is impossible for a steel becoming gold in a short time.

well,"try my best" is the best phrase for me now.

today,should be yesterday,it is 12:30 am now.i was going out with my girl friend to survey

the house which is for rent.we had visited many flat either the new one or the old one,we couldn't

find a house which was reasonable price and plenty of furniture.we had spent four hours on it!

last,we hadn't find a good place,we were about to buy an ice-cream which had brought us a passion.

unfortunately,it was closed,we were exhausted for coming over a long journey,neither

of us didn't want to move anymore.finally,we had made a tough decision,visiting the Thai

Temple which is infront of the stall of the ice-cream.

i had found it was boring inside,there was only picture,statue of god and some statue of animal.

my girl friend was asking me for taking a photograph infront of the statue,i did it reluctantly,

with some ridiculous action as similar as the statue!it was crazy!

after the visitation,we went for a horrible movie,it wasn't scary as i was expected.

my holiday was happened about all of these.

my second english blog

woah, i have finished my second learning term of english at british council. it was cost me

too much time and money which was not made balance to what i have learned. actually, there

is a good place to learn how to speak fluently in english. But, before i had signed up the 

intensive course,i have expected what i will learn was about grammer. i felt the weakness 

is only about grammer because i was really very intend to learn more about grammer.

i found it was a good place for making friend, there were a lot of lovely people and teachers whom

i would like to meet them. they didn't ever look down at me even i was suck in english,they 

talked,discussed and debated in a friendly ways.we share everything,i miss them so much. 

today, i have met up some friend going to the cinema of sunway carnival to watch the new

movie--wolverine.although it was just two or three hour and so,we have fun there.after the movie,

we have gone away reluctantly,we were hoping there was much time for us.we have promised

each other to keep in touch and hang out sometime.guy!i'm waiting the sound of all of you!

my first blog in english

i have gone to gym for three month. Suddenly, i felt i have been more muscular, 

it's unbelieveable, no wonder many girls made a hint  of admire of me.

never mind, i could hardly accept you all admiration if all of you show me

your empressement,haha.i apologize for those who had seen this article for 

my unshamed phrase. Suddenly thought of hui jie, she was at singapore now.

she told me something that she wouldn't forget and asked me about my test.

lol,i forgot to ask her whether she was good at there and the address where she lives.

i was about to send her a half-naked photo of me for her to check up my body.

suddenly, i remember that i'm about to take the IESTS soon, i haven't prepared as well,

it was so stressed for me to talk, i was worried if i could pass the test with 5.5.

5.5 was my aim before,if i managed to take this markh only, my university were 

nottingham absolutely and i have to take foundation.that's not good for me.

sometimes, i felt it's hard for me to get 5.5 because of my suck english,knowing that

it was such a stupid decision if i was took a goal at 6.5.however, i did it so that i could 

have more choice about the university and i really don't want to take the foundation.

it's waste money.

爸爸的定义

对某些人，爸爸是吵架的对象，某些是银行提款机。有些甚至可以把爸爸当成朋友般对待，

聊天，搞笑，好羡慕哦。。

最近对爸爸这两个字又有了新的体会和领悟，

“爸爸”，是“使用”精子将你生出来的一个male的人。。

觉得爸爸对像我这种年纪的人只是提款机，可是是credit card。。

以后还是要还的。。

想要靠自己去工作，去赚钱，可是外面并没有自己想象地简单，

我也知道像我出去做工没多久就会再滚回家靠爸爸。。像林伯。。不好意思。。哈哈

想象自己读完书，出来工作，又怎样，还不是要靠爸爸。当你没有本钱时，你都需要靠爸爸。

住所，交通，做工的本。。都需要别人的支持。。

或许有人这样想，先用爸爸的钱，以后赚了再还。

这是不错的建议，可是。。

不大喜欢这个建议。。

有的爸爸是希望自己的儿女在自己年老时可以照顾自己所以在儿女身上花了不少钱。。

我应该是属于这种类型吧。

好想现在自己赚钱养自己，不靠爸爸。可是读书，上大学，让我不能现在就出去工作。

爸爸就是供我上大学的银行了。。